8.50 – Still the same

I was just too darn excited for this one to not post it early


Xavier’s POV

The visits were far from over. I’d thought Kyxa, Catarina and Edmund were going to be the extent of the people I was going to see during my stay at the hospital.

But boy was I wrong!

All sorts of people came to check on me as the days progressed.


First, the day after Kyxa had come to visit, a woman named Lilith came.

She managed to tell me all about how she’d seen on the news that a witch had caused some destruction down by the docks and all about how it had taken her a while to figure out it was me before I could tell her about my condition.

Then, per my request, she told me about herself and how we’d met, and I was pleased to actually get snippets of memories of spending time chatting on the internet with all sorts of people.


On my fifth day, I got a visit from a man and woman, Charlie and Tina. The hospital had called them since they were on my emergency contact list as…my parents. Something I was now confused about since I thought the man named James was supposed to be my father.

And that’s pretty much how I found out I was adopted. The two were really worried about me, and Charlie was outraged that someone had shot me.

I tried to tell them what Kyxa had told me, but I only managed to confuse them more, so I told them what the doctor had told me. In a little under a week I’d get discharged, and with time my memories would return.


And then, on day 7, someone came back.

“I didn’t actually expect you to come back.” I said, as he gently closed the door behind him.

I really hadn’t. He’d been too tense and quick to leave last time.


“Well you asked, and I said I would.” He replied. “And I wanted to see how you were doing. Have you…remembered?”

“Bits and pieces. Nothing really ground breaking.” I replied.



“You didn’t come here just for that right? Come on, the nurses gave me a deck of cards. So far I only know how to play solitaire. Know any good games?”

Edmund seemed hesitant at first, but then a friendly smile appeared as he nodded his head. “I sure do.”


For about two hours, we did just that, playing cards and talking at the same time. He was a lot more relaxed this time and I managed to sneak in a few questions without him reacting negatively.

I liked him. I couldn’t quite tell why, but that smile, those eyes…that way he’ll look up and catch me looking, only to look back at his cards with a small smile.

I know he said I had a boyfriend the first day I woke up, but I haven’t seen that boyfriend anywhere, and I’m pretty sure Edmund used the past tense, so I don’t feel any guilt in appreciating his company.


“Why are you in business again?” I asked after he’d told me a little bit about his main hobby. “From the sounds of it, you’d have a lot more fun being an author!”

“I…well my dad works in business so it’s only natural.” He said with a small shrug.

“Hmm…you mean you don’t think you could support yourself by just writing books?”

“No not at all! I’m pretty sure I could.” He said confidently. Then he seemed to catch himself. “But that’s just a hobby. From the moment I was born it was pretty obvious I’d be following my father’s footsteps.”

“But…you like working for your father right?”

To that Edmund had no reply.

“Oh come on, you can’t be doing that job just because your dad wants you to!” I said.


Edmund sighed. “I don’t have much of a choi-”

“Hey now! You’re an adult, you can make your own decisions. Don’t work under your father because he wants you to!” I said, tapping his knee like he was being ridiculous. Which he was.

“It’s…it’s more complicated than that.” He mumbled, just as his phone beeped, announcing the arrival of a text. “It’s Charlotte.”


“Who’s that?” I asked, wondering if I was supposed to know her.

“…my fiancé.” Edmund replied after a few seconds of hesitation.

Oh. I let my imagination run a little wild didn’t I? Liking him really isn’t practical.

“Ah…so do you still have time for another game? Or was that a text saying you needed to get home?” I asked, swallowing my disappointment.

“No, no, I still have more than enough time to beat you again.” He replied with a smirk, slipping the phone in his pocket.

“Oh really?” I said, gladly taking up the challenge.


We played for another half hour before Edmund got up to leave, this time really because he had somewhere he needed to be.

“And next time you come visit, try to lose the suit.” I said, eyeing him up and down.



“Makes you look too serious. You don’t need to have your suit on if we’re just going to play games and talk. You don’t need to impress me, wear some casual clothes, I don’t know! A suit makes me feel seriously under dressed. Already bad enough I feel like I’m in my pyjamas all the time.” I insisted.

“Haha! Fine alright.”



The visits really weren’t over. On day eight, the very next day, I got a surprise visit from four people. All of them a little peeved that they’d learned about me getting shot from Tina and Charlie of all people. But they stopped being angry once they found I’d suffered something of a memory loss.

But having these four interacting and talking in front of me really started to stir my memories. I would remember things about highschool and university. Playing in the band with Sam, painting with Eina, and a vague memory that Xenia and Teo might’ve been together at some point. But there was one thing that I was still a little curious about.

“Do I have a boyfriend?” I asked after a while of introducing themselves all over again.

“Uh well, you used to have one.” Xenia replied.

“Ah, okay. That makes sense. Edmund wasn’t really clear on that part.” I said. I’d guessed as much, but I still needed someone to confirm it.

“Edmund?” Xenia said, surprised.

“Oh sorry…do you guys not know him?” I asked, still unsure of who knew who.

“Edmund came to visit you?” Teo asked, clearly as shocked.

“So you do know him? Yeah, he came twice. What’s wrong?” I asked.

“Don’t know how he presented it to you but…he’s the ex-boyfriend. Two years ago, he up and left with his family without so much as a goodbye. We haven’t seen or talked to him since.” Xenia explained.




Edmund came back on day 10, the day before I got discharged. He’d done as I’d suggested and ditched the suit, opting for some baggier more comfortable clothes. He had a friendly grin on, and a board game under his arm.

“Hope you’re feeling up to it, I brought a board game.” He said, showing it to me excitedly.

As happy as he seemed to see me, I couldn’t reflect the feeling.


I mean…I guess I pretty much suspected it. I knew for sure there was something really odd about him that first day, but to know he lied about something like this? Why?

After Xenia had told me the truth, I’d started to remember more and more as I thought about it all. It was still just bits and pieces…apart from that one memory of slumping on an empty house’s doorstep, feeling utterly defeated.


“What’s up? You don’t look so good. Did…something happen?” He asked, and I could see it in his eyes. The fear that I’d gotten my memories back. He’d lied and he knew I wouldn’t react well to it.

I played with the bandages on my arm, they were about ready to be permanently taken off now.

It’s not that I’m mad, I’m really not, I’m just disappointed and a little sad. But I bet if I had my memories, if I remembered how it had all gone down, I probably would be mad.

“Remember that boyfriend you told me about?” I said, watching as his shoulders tensed. “You never did tell me what his name was.”


He opened his mouth to say something, but he seemed at a loss as to what to say, so he closed it again.

“You know, the bully?” I said.

“Right uh…I can’t really recall…” He cleared his throat nervously, I sighed internally. Did I actually expect him to suddenly start saying the truth? He lifted up the board game again. “I found this in a forgotten bookshelf and I thought we could try it out.”

Okay now I was a little annoyed.

I snatched the game he was practically shoving in my face and tossed it on the bed.


“Cut it out! I know it was you. I know you were that bully.” I snapped, watching his reaction closely.

“You remembered…” He mumbled, and that only made me more annoyed.

“No, I had to be told by people. Why Edmund? Why did you feel the need to lie about this?” I asked, really feeling like a fool.


“It…it was easier this way.” He said.

“I got pissed at you didn’t I? When we met up again after two years?”

“…you punched me.”

“So when you realized I’d forgotten all about it, you thought you’d take advantage of my memory loss? To avoid facing what you did to me?” I demanded. It’s a lot less okay to abandon someone you love. He clenched his jaw shut.

“I need to go.” He forced out, already turning towards the door, but I wasn’t having any of it.


I stopped him, almost shoving him into the wall.

“You’re greedy. What did you think would happen? How would I not find out eventually? Why do you even come here? Certainly not seeking forgiveness.” I said, leaning in close.

He refused to meet my eyes, gluing himself to the wall.

“So what is it? What did you think to gain by lying?” I demanded, a deep need to hear him sound genuinely sorry rising in my chest.


His eyes drifted to mine, before going back to avoiding me as he laid his head back on the wall. He let out a short chuckle.

“Even with no memories you’re still the same.” He said.

Still the same?


“You’re threatening me again! You don’t get it do you? Stop f*cking bullying me. It looks like you’ve got some pretty deep problems, but how about you take them out on someone else okay?”

“Get off.”

“Does this make you uncomfortable? I’ll move away, if you either promise to stop getting on my case or at the very least tell me why you have it in for me. Well?”

“I can’t tell you that.”


Ah, that’s what he means.

My features softened a little and I brought my hand up to tilt his head towards me.

My heart unwillingly started to beat a little louder as I leaned towards him.


At first he seemed a little confused, but it didn’t take long for his eyes to start to close as he leaned forwards as well, our breaths now mingling together.

What a greedy man.


Just before the distance between us closed and our lips met…

“Don’t you have a fiancé?” I asked. It wasn’t a gentle murmur or a passing thought, it was a clear accusation.

Edmund’s breath caught, and he leaned back pushing me out of the way and heading straight for the door again.


“Seems you’re still the same too.” I said before he reached the door. “It’s all I remember now; your cowardly back. The back of a man who can’t stand up for himself.”

His hands curled into fists and he opened the door, leaving without another word.


I took in a deep breath.

He forgot his game.




Let me just go recover from writing this chapter.


About blamsart

♪They say it's what you make♪ I say it's up to fate ♪It's woven in my soul♪ I need to let you go♪ -- Demons by Imagine Dragons
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45 Responses to 8.50 – Still the same

  1. magpie14031983 says:

    OMG OMG OMG OMG……………..


    I swear, Blams, if you end up permanently sinking the Xavmund ship I’m gonna stop reading this! There! I said it! That is how badly I want them to reconcile and live happily ever after with a whole bunch of nooboos! I know I’ve been heavily on the side of Ed having to do penance but seriously… That’s just cuz he hurt us all so badly when he left! We deserve some compensation for that… I mean, Xav deserves some compensation for that! (Eventually I’ll learn how to do strike out with my phone lol) You know that little knot you get in the pit of your stomach when your watching a love scene on TV and you are just screaming for the bloody people to kiss? Well, I got that knot damn you! And then Xav took it away T_T I don’t know if I’ll be able to forgive him for that soon T_T
    Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom – let your email find you!

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    • blamsart says:

      Haha XD oops?
      Oh, personally I’m pretty damn proud of Xav for that one. Kissing Edmund wouldn’t have solved anything. On the contrary, by not kissing him and reminding him that “hey you’re engaged to someone else” it’s like a slap of reality in Eddie’s face. As much as I love him, damn was he taking advantage of the situation…
      I want Xavmund back too (you probably won’t believe me, but I do believe i want it back more than you do >.>), but not with Edmund like this. It’s just asking for the whole ‘hide the relationship’ they had in highschool. Ed’s not ready to commit yet!
      Hearing you say that makes me fear for the future…the plot’s heading in a direction which I hope won’t cause me to lose readers….(but I can’t change it, once it’s written – it’s written in stone)


      • magpie14031983 says:

        Meh, it’s an empty threat and we both know it 😉 but I just had to put my feelings out there! Truth be told I kinda would have liked Xav to remind him AFTER the earth-moving kiss that we all know they would have had lol sort of like a “see! This is what life could be like if you weren’t such a coward!” But I definitely agree with you that Xav deserves an Ed that doesn’t want to hide the fact that they love each other! Someone who is willing to be there for him and screw what anyone else thinks! Ed needs to get his act together and tell his dad where to shove it! Goddess, if I had parents like that I would have shot myself years ago, instead of living to the ripe old age of 32 still in their house lol my dad tried to decide my degree for me, I gave him a couple years of paying for me failing cuz I couldn’t be bothered to study, and then I turned around and said “ok, now can I do something I actually WANT to do?” Yup, now I have a nice shiny degree that I can’t frigging use cuz they want people to have 3 years experience before they’ll even consider hiring you T_T like how the ef are we supposed to GET the experience?!?

        Anyway, now that I went totally off topic! Don’t stress, we will all be reading this to the bitter (dear Goddess please don’t let that be so) end… We might curse you and the Whitelight’s a bit while we’re doing it, but we’ll still be there, waiting with bated breath for the next chapter! Yeah, in case you didn’t pick up on it: go write the next chapter!
        Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom – let your email find you!

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        • blamsart says:

          Ah good to know!
          Maybe you should talk to Ed on how to stand up for what YOU want to do then.
          Ahhhh, but oops his agenda is filled it seems. (which makes you wonder how he found the time to sneak off to the hospital three times…)
          I won’t let y’all down! The next few chapters are intense (god, I couldn’t do anything because I just broke myself after a few of them), so I hope you’re all ready. 😉


          • magpie14031983 says:

            Hmmm… You’ll never know until you post them! Yeah, that wasn’t very subtle was it lol

            I will never regret doing my BSc but sometimes I do have to wonder whether my dad was on to something when he wanted me to do the LLB… But Goddess, law is boring! All those endless case studies and blagh… I’d rather be looking at bacteria through a microscope thanks! (Yeah I majored in microbiology and biochemistry, in case anyone was interested or knows of a junior position that will hire someone from out of the country lol)

            I think Ed’s main problem is he doesn’t want to disappoint his parents, he probably thinks if he does, they won’t care about him anymore or something… Which totally shows what sucky parenting they are doing! The little sprog (sorry, I can’t remember Ed’s brother’s name lol) probably has it super easy since Big Bro is doing the business thing… Which sucks balls! Aren’t parents just supposed to want their kids to be healthy and happy?!? It can’t be loyalty that keeps Ed there, maybe it’s fear? Not of abuse obviously, but of having no one maybe? No connection to his past and family? Man, Ed, I totally wanna give you the benefit of the doubt, but, Dude, you make it so hard by being such a panty-waist! Suck it up and grow a pair, dammit!
            Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom – let your email find you!

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            • blamsart says:

              Ooh microbiology? Done quite a bit of that myself. I have a passion for animals and living things.
              He’s always been raised with the certainty that if he wanted to succeed in life he needed to be exactly what his father wanted him to be. And the fact that it actually gave results (the kid had absolutely outstanding grades) was just encouragement to keep pleasing his father.
              Fear is most definitely a factor, but more…fear of not being someone? Edmund has grown and lived according to his father’s wishes. What would happen to Edmund’s self if he were to go out and do things on his own? …probably something along those lines.


              • magpie14031983 says:

                Sorry, I passed out lol worked til 10pm and it was about midnight when I last posted… Yeah, I see that fear of being no one idea… Still sucky though and I hope Ed snaps out of it sooner rather than later!

                What microbiology you done? For work or studies?
                Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom – let your email find you!

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                • blamsart says:

                  Yes so do I! *pats Ed’s way too nicely combed hair*
                  Oh mostly studies
                  I sure hope you find yourself a good workplace! I have noticed as well that most umm highclass jobs ask for a couple years of experience. Definitely makes it hard to gain experience XD


                  • magpie14031983 says:

                    Eish, hard is an understatement, especially in a developing economy like South Africa! Are you based in Canada? Cuz your game is in French, but if you’re in France then you’re awake even earlier than I am (or just didn’t go to sleep last night) sorry, I’m excessively curious, it’s what would make me an awesim scientist if I could just find a bloody job lol

                    Yeah, *pats Ed’s perfectly coiffed hair* poor boy needs to catch a wake up lol
                    Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom – let your email find you!

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                    • blamsart says:

                      Gah, the french confuses me sometimes because of the traits, but…hey initially it was in an effort to keep my french alive considering I basically think in English.
                      Curiosity did kill the cat….though in this case I think you’ll live XD


                    • magpie14031983 says:

                      Eventually I’m gonna stop think that your answering questions without actually answering the questions is cute and then I’m gonna be pissed lol I think you like being a (wo)man of mystery 😛 on the plus side, you do sometimes let interesting little tidbits drop when you do that, which allows a minor insight into what makes you tick… Which is basically why I haven’t started screaming blue murder about it yet lol you do realise if, at the end of this story, you don’t properly answer certain things I’m dying to know, I’m gonna have to try find some way to cyber-stalk you and find it out for myself *joking, not joking, sort of joking, we’ll never tell*

                      Its a pretty short list though… Age, gender, general location (can be country only) and brief description, along with first name (which can be the shortening of your first name, like mine is Stephanie but I generally go by Steph) I’m a very “visual” person… I think its why I like descriptive writers so much, I can picture the stories in my head as if they were on a screen… Now you, sitting at your PC, typing this story, is PART of the story to me… And I can’t picture it… Which is driving me insane! Well, more insane than what I already am lol

                      Mkay, rant over lol

                      I think Sekime has hit the nail on the head! Someone is going to die before this generation is through! Whether it is one of the peripheral Whitelights (which technically in this case would also include James) or one of the central characters, I’m not sure… I’d hate to think you were repeating yourself and so far this gen we’ve had a whole bunch of death… Erin’s folks, Oli’s disease, Olistan, and the most tragic: Xavmund… But each death was different from the other I guess lol crime of passion, disease, murder, homophobic parents… Each unique in it’s way… It leaves me wondering what else you could possibly do to kill off another “favoured” sim that you haven’t used already somewhere in the story, and then I realize that you would take that as a challenge lol

                      Sorry, I’m drugged up to the gills right now so its making me a bit effusive lol a friend once totld me that the scariest/freakiest thing she had ever seen was me going from pissed as the proverbial coot to sober in the amount of time it took them to put my Tarot card deck in my hands and ask for a reading! It literally sobers me up, for at least as long as I’m “telling the future”…

                      Ok. Not sure whether this is going to see the light (or in this case, night) of day, but the league of legends has a hollow bottom…
                      Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom – let your email find you!

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                    • blamsart says:

                      Yes well, my reaction to that last phrase was the same as yours.
                      Oh yes, I sure do like being mysterious XD (though really it’s just due to my cautious nature…you know, to avoid being cyber-stalked…>_>)
                      Yeah, you know, I’m realizing this generation has the most deaths (by deaths I mean people I care about, those vampires James kept offing dont count). And as you’ve pointed out they are pretty diverse aren’t that? All for different reasons…probably why I hadn’t really noticed the atrocious amount. I did however notice the effect it’s having on Xavier…my bad Xav >.>
                      You got any news on the Clarkes or the Wyverns? I feel like you’re all gathered chatting somewhere outside of WordPress…like Carl’s sims forum or something…


                    • magpie14031983 says:

                      The Wyverns are on hiatus, Jessie is having some RL issues… And the Clarke’s, *sigh*, since ‘Vane is in China, we really won’t be seeing them again for ages! She says it’s hard because TCoC and QotD got so intertwined and now Jessie isn’t there, but also, its hard to find time and virtual network, to be able to log Sims stuff from that country! You know, if you JOINED Carl’s forum, you wouldn’t feel like we’re going behind backs 😉

                      Wow, that last sentence O_O note to self: do not reply to Blams’ posts when tablets have kicked in!

                      I understand the cautious thing, I’ve met some freaks in RL and online, but you should know me well enough by now to know I’m (basically) an honest person lol so PM me details 😉

                      Yup, all necessary deaths, only one I can think of for James was Jamie… But Xav needed all that drama to mold him into the “hero” we have today!

                      Still a tad drugged, it’s only 4am here now, so if I make some weird comment or forget something, just say “hey, jackass?!?” And correct me lol
                      Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom – let your email find you!

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                    • blamsart says:

                      Lol, I did join Carl’s forum, I just barely go on it. Find WordPress to be a lot easier to use personally.
                      But for real, it shouldn’t matter that much. Male or female, 15 or 80, I’m not on WordPress to talk about myself, I’m here to share a story.
                      But if it’s that important for your visual, just invent a persona for me and stick to it 😉


                    • magpie14031983 says:

                      So I was telling my BFF about that league of legend sentence and it came out as “I just told someonethat they need to remeber thiebthe p league of legends it surrneyly locked in a mojor court” wtf O_O these freaking pills are stronger than I realised O_O

                      It’s not that it’s important, it’s just I like to know people, especially people I consider “friends”, while you and I may never meet in RL, I still consider you an online friend… I dunno, I’m weird that way 😛

                      Back to the story: I hope you don’t have Xav hook up with Traz once he’s out of prison… Not that I have anything against Travier, but I still am hung up on the Xavmund ship!
                      Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom – let your email find you!

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                    • blamsart says:

                      That is a truly wonderful sentence
                      Haha, I pretty much consider you a friend at this point too.
                      Oooh Traz is still remembered….good to know! Yeah Travier would’ve been okay, apart from one problem (spoiler not spoiler) Traz is straight.


                    • magpie14031983 says:

                      Straight?!? Seriously O_O I so did not see that coming! The way he was so intense with Xav, I thought for sure he at least tilted slightly 😀

                      I’m glad you think of me as a friend, because, honestly, the people I’ve met in the international simming community are more friends to me than my “actual” “real” friends (with the exception of my BFF, but she stays 7 hours away by car so we’re sort of internet friends too lol well, whatsapp at any rate…and she occasionally sims so make of that wat you will lol)

                      My shrink thinks this “lack” of RL friends is dangerous to my mental health, but I think if I hinted to you all that I was feeling suicidal, you would be more ready to talk me off the ledge than most of the people I know personally… I really wish that I could afford to go to the next simmers meetup next year because it would be amazing to meet all these simmers that I only know from pics and tweets and stories!

                      Hmm… *still can’t get over Traz being hetero* Xav could turn any hetero guy bi at the very least! Our Xav is awesim!
                      Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom – let your email find you!

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                    • blamsart says:

                      Good! It was meant to be hard to tell XD
                      But Traz acting like that is (partly part of his personnality) mostly because he thought he could convince Xav of his own point of view if he acted this way.
                      Yeeahhh I get that, my BFF lives about 48 hours away…if not more.
                      Sometimes there’s just nothing you can do, the people surrounding you just aren’t the type you’d be good friends with. And yes, we’d definitely be there to drag you off that ledge.
                      What is this? A simmers meet up?? I am so uninformed with these things. (social internet things just aren’t my forte)


                    • magpie14031983 says:

                      OMG the simmers meetup is only the best thing I ever heard of on Twitter, apparently this was its 2nd or 3rd yeah, its organised by a bunch of the owners of sims blogs and YT simmers… They get swag and lunch and all sorts of cool things! This year SimGuru Racheal and SimGuru Lindsay even made an appearance! I was so jealous that I couldn’t be there! Google it and you’ll see!
                      Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom – let your email find you!

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                    • blamsart says:

                      That’s so cool!
                      I wouldn’t have been able to make it this year, but maybe I could consider it for next year.
                      I need to branch out more in the sims community. *has been scrollling sims forums*


                    • magpie14031983 says:

                      It was in London this year, I’m trying to convince them to come here next year lol then I can afford the ticket 😀 Carl’s is an awesim place, everyone is super friendly and helpful… The official forums tend to be full of angry bitchy people and they don’t “police” the posts as well as Carl’s does so there’s a lot of bitterness there for all to see! Boolprop is another nice one, although I’m not there that often… The sims community social is also cool! Then, of course, you have the websites like beyondsims and simsvip and a whole bunch of others… But Carl’s will always be my number 1 sim destination!

                      I predict a brief moment for Xavmund after Ed realises what a dumbass he is, and then Rina comes and kills Ed so Xav can feel wat it feels like, since she blames him for Ry’s death…

                      Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom – let your email find you!

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                    • blamsart says:

                      Okay so I’ve officially spent the last few hours trying to ease myself into The sims forum and back into Carl’s forum…and there are suddenly a multitude more stories to read! On of these days I’m going to have to sit down and scroll through them.

                      *le gasp* You would dare kill my Ed? My poor baby Edmund? He’s not even a ‘man’ yet! Goodness.
                      Let me just go post the next chapter…


                    • magpie14031983 says:

                      Whoohoo! New chapter *smustle*

                      Basically, on Carl’s, if you check under my posts (Magpie2012) just check whatever stories I’ve commented on and then you’re gonna have a great time! I recommend notjustabook’s Amazing Hollander’s! Its super funny and crazy… And anything by Tiamet, Playalot, and too many others to mention lol
                      Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom – let your email find you!

                      Liked by 1 person

                    • blamsart says:

                      I’ll keep that in mind!


                    • magpie14031983 says:

                      Wait?!? What was that last sentence O_O
                      Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom – let your email find you!

                      Liked by 1 person

                    • magpie14031983 says:

                      Holy Cookies, I’m more drugged than. I imagined!
                      Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom – let your email find you!

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    • Livvielove says:

      I’m tots the opposite of you. I hate Edmund so much. XD
      I rejoiced when Xav finally called Edmund out on his shit. “Yeah, that’s a nice back you have. Seen it so much in my life, you coward.”
      (coughs). I whole-ly support Blams’s writing and I do like Xav a lot (still got my favs James and Cain in the corner though)… but Edmund could die in a ditch for all I care… XD

      Liked by 1 person

      • blamsart says:

        Loool I knew you’d like that part.

        My gods Livvie I leave for a few hours and you’re already 20 chapters shy of finishing gen.8!
        I’m feeling some pressure here!
        If you keep going with this speed you’ll be caught up by tomorrow!
        I consider that one hell of a compliment btw.
        I’m so very curious of what your assessment of these current characters is going to be.

        Upon saying this, let me just go keep writing my next chapter….


        • Livvielove says:

          Yay for more chapters! I should be writing my own but… let’s just say it’s not my time of year. :/ I should be better by tomorrow.
          Until then I’m just reading and using that to make me feel better and it’s working immensely!
          By the way, I’ll gladly give you my (very wordy) opinions of your lovely generation 9 when I arrive. XD Soon. Likely very soon.

          Liked by 1 person

  2. Senkime says:

    Yes Xav yes! As much as I love the Xavdmund ship, I will not be mad if it went down in the water. Ed does need to grow up before Xav can trust him again as he probably will need to stop running from his feelings and make his own life. You will still get results however you need to get over his fear of pleasing his father and live his own life for himself. I hope its not during the final preparation to take care of Assaria and Velor in this generation or someone isn’t going to live long.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. autumnrein says:

    I am predicting another death again. Or Edmund is going to do a complete 180, tell his family to stuff it and run away into the sunset with Xavier. I still want to know the whole story about why he reacted as if he thought he was dead. I do feel bad for his fiance Charlotte. I hope she won’t be completely blind sided and crushed by everything that could potentially happen. I consider her an innocent.

    Liked by 2 people

    • blamsart says:

      Yes well…more on Charlotte later…
      Ah such a Sunset would be nice XD maybe add a horse for good measure!
      Since everyone is asking for it, then another death is bound to happen!
      About Ed’s reaction…reread chapter 8.35 where Erin visits Ridgevalley, but this time read it from Ed’s point of view. Erin said two things to him, which Edmund might have interpreted the wrong way…Might give you a better insight. (I thought I mentionned the reason in 8.48 though…guess I wasn’t clear enough)


      • autumnrein says:

        You probably did mention it, but I got so wrapped up in the story I missed the fact that he could have interpreted it completely out in left field. Its true she didn’t give him much to go on… but I also find it hard to believe that he wouldn’t have done some private research in his office for an obituary or something so I guess I was ready to pin some nasty comments from his dad on the overreaction to seeing Xav again lol. I’m so quick to start pinning bad people to the wall aren’t I lol?

        Liked by 1 person

        • blamsart says:

          Eh, it’s Edmund. He cut off all contact with his old life, so he’s doing his best not to research on his friends. So he’s kind of left to simmer in his thoughts, and I’m sure you know how that is? So he just imagined one day that Xav was dead, and through his stubborn decision not to check for sure, festured the idea in his head. And every time he thought about it, it just seemed to make more and more sense…
          I’m totally okay with pinning Ed’s dad on the wall though.

          Liked by 1 person

          • autumnrein says:

            Hmm… I never looked at it through that point of view. And yes, leaving the past in the past is no stranger. I actually ran into someone from school last year and I couldn’t remember her name after we were finished speaking for several hours. I felt bad because I kept staring at her like “I know your face” lol.
            I can really picture Edmund being stubborn enough to check when you mention it. He probably even justified it as ‘I have no right to know, it’s none of my business’.

            Liked by 1 person

            • blamsart says:

              Oh yeah happened to me too, the person was like “Omg you! I remember you” and then started chatting away, and I just kept staring weirdly because goodness sakes, I was having trouble placing that face.
              Ahhh, sounds like my Edmund XD

              Liked by 1 person

  4. I am SCREAMINGGGGGGG. Yowza! That TENSION! I feel like I just accidentally stuck my fingernail into an electrical socket. YOWZA!

    I’ve been sitting here, frantically reading through the chapters as I’m desperately waiting for Xavier to regain his memories, and….that. Ughhhhh. They’ve still got such chemistry. They get along so well, but goddamn it Xavier is SO right when he snaps at Edmund, “It’s all I remember now; your cowardly back. The back of a man who can’t stand up for himself.” Hoo boy! It’s harsh, but fuck it, where’s the lie, you know? Edmund’s not being fair to himself; not being fair to Xavier; and certainly not being fair to his fiancée either. It’s complete and utter crap and I’m glad that Xavier called him out on it!

    But goddamn that tension! Hoo! Open your eyes Edmund and SEE what’s in front of you! I bet these past visits with Xavier have been the most fun and comfortable moments you’ve had in years. Shouldn’t that TELL you something? Damn. He’s still such a bully, isn’t it? Only now, the only victim is himself. Damn =(

    Liked by 1 person

    • blamsart says:

      “Only now, the only victim is himself”
      I’ve never heard it put that way, but YES.
      He’s always looking for reasons to run away and reasons to stay. You can’t do both Ed! It’s not how it works.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I had to come back to this chapter again and re-read that part with Edmund before I went on because it was still echoing in my head. Just…damn!!!!!! I die a hundred times at this part in particular:

    “At first he seemed a little confused, but it didn’t take long for his eyes to start to close as he leaned forwards as well, our breaths now mingling together.

    What a greedy man.”

    HO OH OH. XAVIER! He’s so fucking INTENSE and SAVAGE and I’m just sitting here like cheering my ass off because he’s so fucking CORRECT right now. And then. AND THEN AND THEN:

    “Just before the distance between us closed and our lips met….

    ‘Don’t you have a fiancé?” I asked.”

    HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *bows down to Xavier* LIKE GODDAMN. SLAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. I didn’t think it was possible to love him more, but….here I am? Dead? Like? What? How? Sentence? UNABLE.

    Is there anything not perfect about this scene, really?

    No. No there is not.

    HOO! Xavier, you fucking god. *dies 100 more times* How can you even resist that, Edmund? How can you even DENY yourself of that? Quit thinking of reasons to run away….the only thing that’s right is to STAY.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Skcaga6 says:

    Hopefully that makes Edmund do some thinking about his own life and what he truly wants. GROW A DAMN SPINE DAMMIT!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • blamsart says:

      Biologically…that’s not possible.
      Edmund must be doomed. AH WELL. There’s always mechanical spines I suppose? What century are we in again?


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