Warning: Spiritual TMI
“Lollipop?” The old nurse asked me. I shook my head.
“Just here for my mum today. But keep me some for next time. I love your lollipops.” I replied with a grin.
“You flatter me.” The nurse chuckled. “She’s been waiting for you since you called. She keeps gushing over you.”
That was no surprise. She always did that. It still makes me smile though.
I speed walked to my mother’s room. I’ve waited all day to see her and share the news and now the door seemed farther than ever. I tried not to bother the other residents as I uselessly bit back the grin on my lips.
My heart filled with warmth at the image of us being a happy family again. Of her not being stuck in a hospital anymore. Of falling asleep to her guitar.
“Mom!” I exclaimed bursting into her room.
“Daughter!” She exclaimed with a teasing grin, her arms wide open. Her smile was large, but I could see the gentle shake in her arms. I wasted no time in taking that hug.
“It’s official! There’s no need to worry about your medical bills anymore.”
A frown appeared on her face and it pained me to see it. The smile wasn’t as hard to keep away anymore.
She wasn’t very happy when she learned how many jobs I’d taken to help support her treatments, and she’d also been unhappy when she’d asked my uncle Chase to come visit her and he hadn’t shown up. I loved my mother, but I was older now, I could take on more. I can help.
“And I’ve managed to convince uncle to continue paying the gross of it until I get the 1000$.” I continued as if I hadn’t noticed her frown.
“Where are you going to get that kind of money?” She asked, clutching my hand.
“It’s just a volunteer thing. They’re asking for people to try out their new video game and giving them 1000$ in exchange. I fit all the qualifications too-”
“Don’t do it.” She cut in. I bit the inside of my cheek.
“I don’t want you taking risks for money.”
“It’s not really taking a ris-” I tried to explain.
“You’re going to need my parental consent and I will not give it.” She stated firmly.
“Actually, I don’t need it.” I replied coldly.
“They don’t ask for it? That’s very suspicious.”
“Mum, it’s the best chance I have of getting enough money in a short time for you without ‘taking risks’.” I said, but her face stayed in its disapproval mode. “I don’t want you to die you know.”
“Of course not.” Her face softened and she pulled me into another hug. “Oh firefly.” She exhaled the nickname into my hair. “I wish you’d care for yourself more.”
“Mum you’re dying.” I insisted.
“Even when I wasn’t dying you were just as selfless.” She said. I rolled my eyes and exhaled through my nose.
“Nothing you can say will change my mind. I will save you.” People do survive cancer. She just needs to be treated.
“Enough of me. Tell me of my daughter. How’s my firefly doing?” She said, releasing me from her hold.
“How’s that conquest of yours going?” She asked with a sly smile. My face immediately flooded with the thought of Nikolas. Oh there were so many things to say. And the hope I’d squashed before had come back with a roar. Maybe Niko really could come to like me that way. In the end, maybe I was right, maybe he just simply isn’t looking for a girlfriend. Yet. “Oh look at that cute face.”
This time I blushed from embarrassment. “Moooom.”
My mom’s face sobered up. “Firefly I need you to promise me something.”
I eyed her warily.
“I need you to promise me that when I die-”
I cut her off right there. “If. If you die.”
“-that if I die, your priority is going to be you and you only. Do you hear me firefly? It doesn’t matter what others think if you don’t show them who you really are. I see you, and you’re beautiful. Stop trying to be someone you’re not with others. There’s no point to it.” She said, cupping my face. There was nothing for me to reply. “That means you can sass your uncle if you feel like it.” She smirked.
“Oh mister would probably pout and refuse to eat if I did that.” I laughed.
“That wouldn’t be any good! He’s already thin enough!” Mom laughed along. Our laughs drifted off. “Promise me.”
I stared into my mother’s kind eyes, glimpsing at what used to be.
I don’t want to be hated though.
I don’t want to be ignored.
I pressed my lips together. I could read it in her eyes. They’re all jerks in the end anyway.
What has it brought me, really, to try and be likeable? What would be the worst case scenario?
She smiled and pressed her forehead against mine. “Good. Whatever happens, don’t mourn me too long. It’s a waste of your precious time.”
“But you won’t die.” I affirmed. “Because Uncle Chase still owes you a new guitar-”
“Firefly, I will fight this till my very last breath.”
He won’t kill me.
I’m suffocating in this house.
Why doesn’t he kill me?
I can feel them downstairs during the evening.
Doesn’t he understand?
I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve almost killed him. He’s very lucky.
A vampire that eats food. How odd.
Fangless and thirstless, is he still a vampire? He resonates as vampiric.
Vampire King they whisper.
Coward I utter. It doesn’t encourage him to kill me any more.
I watch as he makes food. Mildly reminded of how he spilled boiling water on my head when I involuntarily attacked him once. It’s that kind of luck that has him still standing.
He doesn’t understand.
I can feel him probing my mind during the day. I let him try and place counter measures to prevent me from killing. He tries and tries, but it never does anything. The mailman died because of this.
I kind of liked the mailman.
I tell him every day. “Kill me. It’s simpler. Kill me. You can’t help me.”
He doesn’t care, and luck saves him again.
I don’t need to eat.
I didn’t need to eat when I was locked in that cave for hundreds of years. I didn’t need to eat under the Gold mansion.
But I can if I want. It makes me feel stronger. More in control of myself. I eat so that I can hold back easier. If I kill him, I’ll kill the supernaturals in his basement too. I’ll kill the people in StoneBridge. I’ll kill everyone.
My hunger is insatiable.
Kevil couldn’t understand this. James doesn’t either.
But maybe it’s because I haven’t tried.
I look up from my meal. He’s typing on his computer. I know what he’s searching for.
Some time ago, he brought a witch into his kitchen. He was talking to her about his basement, and I lost control temporarily.
She made a weak magical shield to protect herself, but I absorbed it all. I managed to gain some control back and James sent her away. I think he made the connection, that magic was the cause of this. But he doesn’t understand how.
The mailman was a fairy that could cast some very small glitter spells. James thought all I needed was for people to feed me magic through spells. I couldn’t hold back anymore and we lost the mailman.
I know he’s searching for more supernaturals, stronger supernaturals, to lend their magic.
But he doesn’t understand.
I need to make him understand. Then, maybe he will kill me.
“You don’t understand.” I say as calmly as I can. “My hunger is insatiable. I am stronger than any wall you can make. You cannot control me. My will is the only reason everyone still breathe. There is nothing you can do.”
He slowly closes his laptop with a click. His eyes come up to look at me.
I have all his attention now.
I know this man isn’t a coward. I can see it in his eyes. Though I am older, age is nothing here. Experience is everything. But I have knowledge on my side.
And his eyes tell me he wants me to elaborate. He can tell there is more to say. I need to make the importance of my death clearer.
I am not used to talking so much, but I feel it’s necessary. I considered the depth of the story I needed to tell him for him to fully understand the consequences.
“My body is starved for magic. It’s what it needs to survive, not food or water or sleep, nor can it be eased with residual magic from spells. It needs life magic. The magic that makes things live and breathe, whether supernatural or not. My body naturally drains a small amount of magic from every single being on this earth every second. It used to be enough. But magic is meant to form a cycle. Whilst my body’s bottomless hunger absorbs magic, it needs to have a way to come back into the world. It used to be my-” The word escaped me. I had no term for him. No longer any hate or love for him. “The White-eye is meant to be the vessel letting magic be reabsorbed here. Kevil may be a white-eyed, but he is a weak version. He can no longer provide as much magic, whilst my own body continues to absorb just as much. It wants to absorb more from everyone to compensate. But if I let that happen, I would drain everyone within days.” My voice begins to tremble slightly. His gaze remains the same.
“I resist it, which starves me. It hurts. It pains me to be starved. It makes my body lose control and search for magic to absorb. I don’t know how much longer I can hold on. You must kill me, before I permanently lose control. It’s a difficult thing to request, I understand. If I were to die, the White-eyed will continue to provide magic and it will have nowhere to recycle. An overdose on magic is much more painful. But the world doesn’t have much longer to live. You have a better chance avoiding a magical overdose in the time left, than my losing control. You understand now? Killing me is the only option.” I affirmed once again. He didn’t look convinced.
“You do not seem to understand vampire! If I desired it, I could drain everyone right now. I don’t need to touch you to kill you.” I said, my voice reaching a slightly higher pitch. “I can feel everyone’s magic. This entire world is in my grasp – yet I choose to resist. My will is the only thing saving you all, and I cannot kill myself. My body won’t let me. You must crush my mind while I’m still sane. I am weak-willed. My strength will not last forever. Save yourselves by killing me. You can live the remainder of your century in peace and magical prosperity.” I insisted, gritting my teeth.
I could clearly see it. His decision to not kill me was still strong. I needed to convince him another way.
“Do you not care? I took her wings. Her death lies on my shoulders as well. Your vengeance has been unfulfilled. You do not do justice to your reputation.” I said, narrowing my eyes at him.
He stood up and placed his hand on my shoulder, looking at me with eyes trying to tell me that he’d understood, but I wasn’t dead so he clearly hadn’t. I felt my body bristle, yelling and screaming at me to drain him. His fingers were touching my skin. Touching made it simpler. Easier. “You have lost too much. Including your mind.” I hissed.
He pushed my untouched bowl of macaroni towards me and smiled.
The message was clearer than if he’d spoken it himself.
Food helped strengthen me.
We were going to find more ways to strengthen my will.
I suppose experience will do that to you.
I. Can. Not. Sleep.
Ever since Zac and I found out exactly what transpired in my basement, I’ve been compulsively doing research and it mostly involved magic. The werewolf’s theory was intriguing. The idea that there was a source of magic and something had happened to it and that’s why supernaturals were slowly dying off…
And well I found an interesting article today that talked about something called a White-eyed. Basically someone with white-eyes. Which thinking on it, is not something you see often. Actually, you never see someone with white-eyes.
Except I had once. Which is half of what kept me awake right now. Took me some intense remembering, but I’ve actually seen a white-eyed before. At summer camp.
He’d been a vampire, so his glowing white yes weren’t hard to spot. He was carrying a sword as well and chasing a white-haired girl with…if I remember correctly, lizard eyes.
I can’t believe I’d forgotten about that. It just happened os fast.
The article was written from way before I was born and said there was supposed to only be one white-eyed alive. And its sole existence was what let supernaturals exist. Had I seen the one and only white-eyed?
Could the article even be relied on though? It didn’t have any references or proof. Something like this…you’d think the authorities would be aware of it. It seems like a pretty ground breaking lead towards helping the supernaturals.
It’s killing me not to know if it’s true or not.
I swung my legs over the side of my bed.
If I want to get some sleep tonight, I need an answer.
I made my way out of my room, shushing Nato as he moved to get up from his bed.
He slumped back on his dog bed with a huff, his ears twitching one after the other.
I gently pushed the door to my parents’ room and stepped inside.
It was past midnight, but dad was up reading. I wasn’t the only one who couldn’t sleep tonight.
Maybe this was a bad idea. This might actually get me in trouble. But I’m not joking when I’m saying I won’t be able to sleep without knowing the answer. And dad seems to be the likeliest person to have the answer.
“What’s wrong Nikolas?” He asked, not taking his eyes off the page.
At least he didn’t sound angry.
“Does it exist? A white-eyed?” I asked, and he closed his book and put it away.
“Where did you hear that term?”
“I read it in an article! It was talking about how people with white-eyes were actually the source of magic and it was because of them that witches and fairies and vampires and werewolves and all the supernaturals existed. And if its true and I think I actually saw the White-eyed at summer camp because there was this vampire with a sword chasing-”
My dad smiled and motioned for me to be quieter, glancing at pa still sleeping. Then dad motioned for me to join him on the bed.
“The white-eyed does exist, and the man you’re talking about is Kevil.”
“You’ve met him?”
“Yes I have. Do you want to hear the story?”
I nodded enthusiastically and dad smiled.
“First time I met him was after I’d gotten kidnapped by two vampires named Velor and Assaria…”