8.57 – Bouncing back

Warning : PG-13 slight gore, and potentially sensitive material

Months later…

Xavier’s POV

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“Are you sure Maxwell?” Erin said, her voice tinged with uncertainty.

“Yeesss ma!” Maxwell whined, giving me an exasperated face. I rolled my eyes and went back to texting Xenia.

“I don’t see why you suddenly don’t want me walking you to school. You were fine with it last week!” Erin insisted.

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“But mom, if you’re around I can’t hang out with my friends, it’s just not as fun.” Max said.

“I don’t like the idea of you walking alone.”

“But I’m not alone, dad’s with me.” Max insisted.

You know how all kids have an imaginary friend? Well it seems Max’s was Oliver. Erin was unbelievably shocked when she heard this and she tried to explain that his dad was dead, but all Max replied was “Yeah I know that”.

“Even if he was, I still wouldn’t feel okay with you crossing the street.” Erin stated, crossing her arms.

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“But mooo-” Max’s whine was interrupted by a loud sneeze. “Ew…” He said, wiping his hand on his pants.

“Thanks for reminding me, it snowed last night, why aren’t you wearing gloves?” Erin asked.

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“Mom I’m really going to be late for school now and Mrs.Allison is going to be mad at me because of you!” Maxwell complained.

Erin sighed. “Fine, don’t forget your lunch,” She said, handing him the bag. “And this doesn’t mean I won’t be picking you up at school so wait out front!” She shouted after him as he sped out of the apartment.

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“It’s kind of useless to argue if you’re just going to always give in.” I said, sending my best friend a teasing grin.

Erin let out an exasperated groan. “I can’t properly argue against that face! And well…if he thinks he’ll be fine…”

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“Erin geez, he’s barely become a kid! You’re still supposed to know more than he does. You really shouldn’t be so lenient.” I said.

“I don’t want to pressure him…or force him…I want to make sure he has a completely different childhood than I had…And now you go and tell me I’m a horrible mother!” Erin said, purposefully laying it on thick.

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“Hey! I never said that! Just that you could apply a little more discipline…” I said, reaching in the fridge for a beer bottle. Would probably need to start hiding these now that Maxwell was starting to look for snacks…

“Pass me one.”

“Good idea you’ll need it. We need to talk.”

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“You know what? I actually have something I need to do, people to meet. See ya later!” Erin suddenly said, spinning on her heels and heading for the door.

“Yeah…no.” I flicked my free hand towards the door, releasing some magic – a bit more than I intended – and a loud click was heard as the front door locked itself. Erin raised her eyebrows, but tried to open it anyways.

“Xavier f*cking Jales, did you just lock the door on me!?” She exclaimed.

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“I think you’ve been avoiding this conversation long enough. I mean, I’ve been nice, but it’s been months! We need to talk.”

“It’s not going to be a conversation, with you it’s going to be a goddam lecture.”

“Then let’s get it over with.”

Erin accepted with another groan.

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“You do at the very least understand what was wrong right?” I asked, lighting the incense on the counter as Erin sat down. This incense that was quickly becoming a part of my daily routine – a way to reassure me. Ever since that day my magic had felt unpredictable, unstable, as if it would pop at any moment. It reminded me of my days in highschool, when a rant of anger would be enough for me to lose control over my magic. Except this time, I had too much of it in my veins to even consider losing control.

That’s where this incense came in. Alec had scoured the loft Velor and Assaria had rented and found it in the air vents. This was what had kept my magic subdued in that bathroom. Aliska convinced him to give it to me for safe keeping, it was after all only against me that it worked. I could’ve stashed it away somewhere, but one night, when my magic was feeling particularly agitated, I’d lit it up and instantly felt my magic restrained. It was a comforting feeling. And well right now? The conversation might turn sour and I didn’t want to take even the slightest chance with my magic.

I continued talking when Erin didn’t reply. “Putting aside the fact that you went up to a stranger and brought a knife to his throat in public-”

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“He was no stranger!” She hissed, avoiding my eyes.

“You even went as far as brag, yes brag, that you killed your parents. Are you kidding me here!?” I exclaimed. And to think she’d done it right in front of me. But she knew I wouldn’t react this way without my memories.

“I just- it’s not like – shut up! You don’t get to decide what I do with my past.” She grumbled, tightening her hands into fists.

“No, but saying things like that can easily get you in trouble.” I said calmly. She got up, nearly knocking the stool down. I was a little surprised, sure she did her best to avoid the subject for months, but I didn’t know it was this touchy for her. She paced a little before nearly charging at me.

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“I got caught up okay?” She asked in irritation. “I was just really pissed that he’d shot you and his smirky face was taunting me and I just really needed to find a way to scare the crap out of him so he’d stop giving me that stupid face.”

“Yeah you seem to get caught up a lot around him.” I said, glancing away cause I knew the comment wouldn’t be taken nicely.

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“Don’t you dare.” She said, casting me one of her more dangerous glares.

“Just wondering what that kiss was all about.” I said, keeping my ground.

“He said he wanted a reward-”

“He never specified what it was.”

“His face was practically screaming for it.”

“Mhm.”

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“Look it worked okay! Dunno why you’re on my case on that.”

“You know I don’t give a damn if you fancy him right? I mean, I don’t hate the guy, he was a hired gun. Sucks that he shot me, but he was aiming for my dad in the first place and the people who hired him are dead now…so I really don’t care.” I said, trying to gauge why Erin was acting so strongly on this subject.

“How dare you suddenly assume I fancy him…that’s…f*ck you.” She snapped, making me raise my eyebrows in surprise. Maybe I’ve pushed the subject enough.

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“So I’m to assume you suddenly shouting from the rooftops that you murdered your parents isn’t going to happen again?” I asked.

“Gah! I hate you right now. Go to work! Go!” Erin said, lightly pushing me away.

“See? That’s exactly the type of attitude you should have with Max!” I said with a grin as I grabbed my stuff.

“I’m going to murder you in your sleep if you don’t leave RIGHT NOW.” Erin threatened, gripping the kitchen stool like she was going to throw it at me.

“Okay! Okay!” I laughed heading for the door.

***

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I woke up with yet another horrible nightmare, clutching my head to chase it away.

Not one of Erin murdering me in my sleep mind you.

After getting my memories back…after falling off a building certain I would die…after watching Kyxa get murdered…my first night back was horribly rough. I barely even got any sleep, preferring to stick in the kitchen and refill my system with the alcohol it had been lacking for the last two weeks. When I did head back to bed then, I woke up minutes later with a loud cry. I was clutching my sheets for dear life when Erin barged in the room, thoroughly pissed that I’d woken her up.

I didn’t remember my nightmare then, but the terrified feeling hadn’t left for another few hours. It’d been worse than any nightmare I’d had so far. And it was far from over. I got nightmares every single night, not that I woke up from all of them. Most of the time I was stuck in my dream, watching people die, and sometimes even causing the deaths. It was only the worst of the nightmares, when I’d be on my knees, bloody tears streaming down my face, and piles and piles of bodies surrounding me, and always with the ominous phrase, the horrible reminder…

Death has always followed your footsteps

The last word would be whispered in my ear and I’d wake up with my heart beating wildly and a worried Erin telling me I’d woken up Max this time.

Needless to say, my nights weren’t having a good impact on me during the day. Mostly because of my magic. It felt more erratic…more uncontrolled, especially during the night. I hadn’t done anything horrible yet, but I could still clearly remember that time at the docks, when I simply hadn’t been able to shut my magic off. I didn’t want something similar to happen to me, which is why it comforted me to have that incense just waiting for me in the kitchen.

Everyone else seemed to have fared relatively okay.

I mean, there was a grieving period. Everyone grieved Kyxa. On the other hand there seemed to be a general joy of knowing Assaria and Velor were dead going around. Only Kord seemed to grieve over Velor’s death…but the vampire was his little brother so I suppose it was understandable in a way?

Kord went his own way. Kevil took the Weapon and disappeared. Alec and Aliska left as well. And my grandparents stayed back to talk to me, get to know each other a little, before they left as well, giving me their address and insisting I come visit.

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When I went back home I eventually got some information on what my…well my family was doing.

Catarina had gotten her birthday, and she was off to university with her boyfriend. She actually took the time to stop by at my place to say goodbye. Also to profusely apologize for everything that had happened. She’d been a helpless spectator to it all, and she hoped Rina hadn’t hurt me too much at the hospital, and really I could blame it on her own curiosity. If Catarina hadn’t been tempted to play her game, none of it would’ve happened.

I barely understood half of what she was talking about, but I assured her I didn’t hold any negative feelings towards her. I wished her good luck at university and insisted she kept contact.

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Benjamin seemed to be doing okay, apart from the obvious grief he felt from losing his mom. We sat down at some point to talk and sort out this whole “I have a brother thing”, but I actually think he got bored of me at some point…James and him went back to Stonebridge so Benjamin could continue his studies.

As for James…I have no idea what’s going on with him. He came back that day with red rimmed eyes, and that was the only sign of emotion anyone saw on his face again. I didn’t think it was possible, but James looked even more emotionless than usual, his gaze always empty, his expression always stone cold. Even if I focused and tried to use my sixth sense, I only received an empty void in response. I don’t think I’ll ever completely realize how much he loved and depended on Kyxa. He’s just a shell for now. Hopefully just for now.

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They’ve all adjusted to some form of routine, of normality I guess, but I’m still stuck here waking up at all hours of the night, terrified, and hoping my nightmares don’t follow me into reality. This night was harsher than usual. They were always harsher than the last ones.

I willed it to pass. I gripped my head, waiting for the terrified emotion that wanted to throw the pillows at the wall and flip the bed and curl up and die to pass. Waited for the images to leave so I could close my eyes again. But it was all determined to cling to me, and my magic stirred uncomfortably in my veins, whispering to be let out.

I needed to light the incense. I needed to light it before something horrible happened. Before Max and Erin got hurt.

There was a limited supply. That was the only reason why I didn’t have it lit at all time these days – I had no need for my magic after all.

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I didn’t even reach the doors. A little wisp of magic escaped from my fingers and the terrified feeling multiplied inside me. I dropped to my knees, the muscles in my body clenching as I tried my best to contain the now unstable magic inside me.

Why? Why!?

Even there my sixth sense didn’t seem willing to help.

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I banged my head on the ground, trembling slightly now, completely aware that if I stopped concentrating now, I’d lose control, and who knew what my magic would do now? It felt like it had been compressed for too long and had decided tonight, yes tonight would be the ideal moment to just let go.

Why couldn’t I deal with a few nightmares every night? Why had Serenity, that self-proclaimed time traveler, have the stupid idea of giving me this much power? When I could barely control the power I originally had?

I gritted my teeth as my arms started to ache and burn. A wave of pain rushed through them, making my skin feel easily crackable. It’s never been this bad…I’ve had the odd ache, the odd burning sensation, the reminder that I hadn’t used my magic in a very long while, but this? This was something else. This was like an explosion waiting to happen.

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I sat up straight as I almost lost control when another wave of pain came back.

It’s okay, it’s okay, it’ll pass. I just need to ride this through!

I stared at my arms. They seemed to be almost glowing with the magic that had accumulated in my veins, pulsing…beating like a bomb just waiting to explode.

Each pulsation bringing my magic closer to rupturing my skin, each beat matching my rapid heart, each glow the number in a countdown.

5…4…3…2…1…

An intense pulse of pain rushed through my right arm and I brought my left hand to it in an effort to contain the explosion of magic I was afraid was going to happen.

And then it all just stopped. I didn’t feel terrified anymore, the pain was gone, my arms back to their non glowing state. But it wasn’t because it had passed. I’d gripped my right arm so harshly in an attempt to stop it all from happening, that my nails had pierced my skin. I watched my arm, mildly fascinated, as a single drop of blood dripped off my forearm and fell into freefall. And then, the drop, containing an intense concentration of magic, dissolved. A tendril of magic burst out of it and engulfed it, completely snuffing out its existence with a small pop.

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With a sigh I leaned on the wall, exhausted and at my limits.

Yet feeling and appreciating the utter relief the escape of that bit of blood had given me.

The thought that my magic had the power to do that…to render something completely out of existence, was eating me inside…alongside everything else festering in my mind.

***

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“Haha! Xavier is your last name? That’s weird and cool at the same time!” Xenia exclaimed with a laugh. She’d knocked vigorously on my door a few hours ago, just when Lilith was visiting. Apparently Eina had dumped Xenia, and the latter needed some friendly company to rant to.

“Yeah, you said it right. Weird yet cool.” Lilith agreed. “You’re a great girl Xenia, it’s Eina’s loss.”

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“Yeah…I just wished she’d given me some warning that she wasn’t happy…or that she preferred that guy over me.” Xenia said. “You know the worst thing? Since you two are all the way here, I told Teo first and he laughed at me saying I’d convinced Eina she wasn’t bi after all!”

“Seriously?” Erin asked as I coughed a little in surprise.

“Don’t worry I slapped him good. He looked way too happy about the news.” Xenia grumbled.

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“Happy?” I asked. Teo didn’t still have feelings for Xenia did he?

“I know the audacity. I didn’t laugh in his face when Sam dumped him for the third time. I don’t even know why he’s trying with that girl.” Xenia said shaking her head.

Someone knocked on the door. Geez, this was a day for visits wasn’t it?

“Max can you get the door?” Erin asked.

“Hmm? Yeah sure mum.” Maxwell said just as his program got interrupted by the news.

“-and some weirder news still, a yet unidentified body was stolen from the morgue last Friday with no signs of forced entry-“

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“Uh…mom?” Maxwell called out, interrupting the conversation that had begun again.

“What is it?” Erin asked, turning around. Max gave her a confused look, going from whoever was outside to his mother. With a frown Erin walked over, and Max took that as permission to come right back to the tv.

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Erin gaped outside the door for a few seconds before bursting out into an uncontrollable fit of giggles.

Her laughing was so intense we were all looking at her a little worried and Xenia jumped off the couch to go see what was waiting behind that door.

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She tried her best not to, but Xenia ended up laughing as well.

“Oh gosh, you’re evil Erin.” She said between laughs. I gave Erin a questioning look, but when our gazes met she looked like she was about to burst out into giggles again.

It was pretty much then that I figured out that whatever was waiting behind the door was for me. So I got up, Xenia and Erin heading back to the couch with huge grins, and I looked out into the corridor to whoever was waiting.

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Was that…Edmund?

He looked different, but that was most definitely Edmund. The Edmund I hadn’t heard a peep from since that night.

“Edmund? What are you doing here?”

 

Yes Ed…what are you doing here?

I felt the need to mention this now since I’ve been so specific with dates, but I’m well aware of how unrealistically the kids are aging up, see Max is like 5 or 6 in this chapter even if it’s been only about 2 and a half years. But this is a sims game! So I’m going to have to ask all of you to bear with me on this -_-‘

Also. Cat is the spitting image of her mum. It broke my heart ;-;

Annndd….I reread a random chapter of James’ generation, chapter 8.56 to be exact, and I’d apparently written in the comments, and I quote myself “This generation is coming to an end soon.”

You know what’s a little scary right now? I asked myself the question: can I say the same for Xav’s gen? And the answer to that is no. I have absolutely NO idea if I’m close to finishing this generation or not! I do have the certainty that in the general story I’m pretty much in the last part now…but if that means 5 or 35 more chapters? Gah no idea. It’s not that I want to drag this on, (because I really want to see some nooboos) it’s just that there’s so much to write about, and so much I can’t just brush over. (well I don’t think so)

About blamsart

♪They say it's what you make♪ I say it's up to fate ♪It's woven in my soul♪ I need to let you go♪ -- Demons by Imagine Dragons
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11 Responses to 8.57 – Bouncing back

  1. When is Xav going to learn that stifling his magic only makes it worse! He should be doing at least 2 or 3 little spells a day, like he did with locking the door so E couldn’t run! I can see cutting showing up in his future and it worries me! Its so easy to get addicted to that feeling of release as the blood flows…

    Yay, Ed! Maybe you’ll be able to shag some sense into Xav!
    Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom – let your email find you!

    Liked by 1 person

    • blamsart says:

      -_-‘ sorry then, here’s my finally replying!
      You’re right, doing a few spells a day would definitely help him get rid of stress, but he’s afraid losing control every time! With good reason. There’s something else messing with him here…
      Yes it is, and Xav’s got a lot to convince him to start cutting too. If only just the fact that it doesn’t make him explode.

      Like

  2. lunableddyn13 says:

    Poor Xav, having to do self-harm in order to keep his magic under control 😩 (well, also the incense, but let’s not focus on that for right now)

    Erin and Xav are really good roommates, though. I bet Xav is like the uncle Maxwell never had, considering the fact that the siblings that Oliver has are all girls (if my memory serves me correctly), and let’s not get into the fact about Erin’s sibling…

    But, if this generation is almost over, where are the kiddies?? Kiddies mean the next generation is coming. 😑

    Please have another chapter/update on here soon!! 😄

    Liked by 2 people

    • blamsart says:

      Haha, yup that’s pretty much how I see it, Xav filling in uncle shoes.
      Yeah Oliver only had sisters.
      Probably means them babies are on the way! Hopefully. Sometime soonish. I honestly wish I knew. (Oh god I’m so excited)

      Like

  3. autumnrein says:

    Edmund… reeaaaallllyyy??? XD That is too fantastic. And I can’t help but wonder if Teo and Xenia are going to try again. He was pretty terrible to her when they started university but maybe he has grown up a lot?

    Is it weird that I find it odd to imagine Erin with anyone but Oliver? Mind you, I know that he has been gone a long time now and she deserves to be happy with someone but I can’t help it. Who knows, maybe I’ll like them together more when I can see them together and not with her trying to kill him lol.

    Liked by 2 people

    • blamsart says:

      I’d kind of like Teo and Xenia to see if they could make it work this time, but it’s mainly going to be up to Teo lol. Is he still a jerk on that matter or…?
      No, I get the same feeling. I want Erin to have a happy ending…but it’s so hard seeing her with someone else. So basically I’m throwing Evan her way and seeing if it works -_-‘ it’s a little confusing, sometimes she’s about to kill him, sometimes she’s kissing him…Make up your mind girl! (though on love matters, Erin’s got a history of not really being able to handle it well)

      Liked by 2 people

  4. Moon Mirage says:

    Oh wow! This chapter was amazing! I really love how you’ve developed Erin’s character. A lot of writers tend to make all their characters flawless and perfect to make them “likeable”, but I really love how you’ve avoided that and rounded out your characters, especially Erin. Like you love her, but at the same time, she can frustrate you. On a different note, as much as I love Evan, I’m still rooting for Erin and Oliver deep down (is that bad?)

    Liked by 1 person

    • blamsart says:

      Thank you! Developping characters and seeing them grow and learn is one of the things I like about writing.
      Nope, that’s not bad XD I’m the same, but I’m still hoping Erin can find happiness with someone else, be it Evan or not.

      Like

  5. Pingback: ~ The gift of a clean slate ~ | Light the way to heaven

  6. “Bouncing back” my ass. Xavier isn’t doing any better at all! If anything, he seems even worse. I know it’s likely because he’s scared, but I’m also frustrated that he continuously doesn’t learn from the past about his magic. It’s always, always worse when he doesn’t use it. Why not use it on a regular basis to do little chores and the like? Even make an object dance in the corner for a while. Completely useless, but at least it would let some of it go, you know? And that’s a hundred times more safe a release than causing injury to yourself. I just want to cry.

    He continues to be ashamed too of the fact that he’s struggling, but fuck you can’t compare yourself to others. Everyone deals with grief and horror in different ways, and the fact that this is still getting to Xavier isn’t indicative of some sort of weakness—all it means is that he still hasn’t actively worked through these losses. If the others seem “so much better off” it’s because they’ve been dealing with their pain, not suppressing it to deepest reaches of their minds and self-medicating with drinking, which is only a temporary relief and doesn’t truly solve anything.

    Gahh. I’m still so sad and scared for him. Maybe the redhead I believe to be on the other side of that door will be able to get through to him. I really, really hope so.

    Liked by 1 person

    • blamsart says:

      MISLEADING TITLE 😛

      I wanted him to have a happy life. I wanted him to get on with his life, but he still hadn’t DEALT with everything that happened. he’d still only endured, and Xav can only take so much.

      Liked by 1 person

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